♪ ♫ ★ 「Kit」 ★ ♫ ♪ (kitfallen) wrote in phantompaws,
♪ ♫ ★ 「Kit」 ★ ♫ ♪
kitfallen
phantompaws

Ownership Issues

While I am purely just 'me' at all times, sometimes it's easier to see where the part of me that is cat ends and where the purely human part begins.

This would be one of those times...

--

The collar's tag jingles where it sits on my throat--a buzzing happiness drifts through me at this reminder. It's a simple happiness, like enjoying the taste of chocolate or a cool breeze on a hot summer day, but that doesn't make it any easier to figure out.

The cat in me argues amongst myself, part of it simply enjoying the idea of being cared for/having someone to care for, another part is completely disgusted at this at all. It says we are feline and therefore proud and independent of any other--as it is right to be.

The human sits back behind the argument, its curious thoughts more on the ponderings of the sated. It wonders if the happiness comes from a memory, or if is simply self-created. It wonders at the meanings of the tag, whether it is a claim or just the simple gift it was expressed as when given. It also wonders at the idea of fetishes and the lustful, if this happiness is proof of some sort of sexual wants--all which is fairly ridiculous to the cat parts.

Everything in my head feels odd and muddled, perhaps a better word is softened, or less language driven. Thoughts are more instinctual-based, with images and feelings instead of human words and the (completely overdone, claims the cat part,) highly pondered-out and studied way human thoughts can be.

It feels like a m-shift without being one. The cat thoughts have just taken over more of my mind for the moment, while the human part sits at the back, watching, its loud and overly wordy thoughts ring out over the cat argument still.

It's odd and gives me a bit of a headache to think about the two sides of the cat argument, which lacking detailed points like the human part, is heading back to baser instincts to prove each side. Calling up the old cultures of cat and the domestications of those, pawing at the reasons for taking care of humans at all, and the unwillingness to give up any independence, regardless of those reasons.

The human thoughts try out a truce, saying that until it is figured out the meaning of the 'gift' it might not even matter one way or another. It is doubted whether the gifter meant the IDtag as what the cat parts have taken it to mean.

No, one side growls, translated slightly by the louder presence of the human thoughts, It is important to never accept ownership over us, regardless of whom or how.

But the argument hits a lull and it is caught at a crossroads that I will eventually need to figure out for myself--all of myself, both cat and human.

--

x-posted: therianthoughts
Tags: drabbles (small writings)
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